Since when is wanking sex?

Here is another example of "sensationalist" media reporting from the US. People are apparently looking up porn on the net and 'pleasuring themselves' (which is apparently "sex", according to this reporter). My favourite bit is where they pan from the video footage of the guy frastically masturbating to the sign for the "children's section" and then ask they guy if he would let his kids in the library if he knew that masturbaters were in there. It seems that men who masturbate are a risk to children. That makes 99.9% of men a risk to children (The 0.1% are those with no arms or cocks and stuff).

http://www.break.com/index/libraryjerk.html

Drunk or stoned.

...is a new call in show on late night virgin radio. Part of the geoff show (one half of the team that used to do the breakfast show). Not sure how ethical it is, but it's bloody funny. On past my bed time these days tho sadly.

------
>>Sent via mobile phone<<

Those Yanks are at it again...

I could spend my whole life laughing at those knobs.

http://www.cnn.com/2006/US/05/17/unmarried.ap/index.html

One day I'm going to actually write something on this blog rather than just linking to something. But the links tend to speak for themselves. If only some Americans would learn to think for themselves.

I'm a millionaire!!

Feel I need to add this - THIS IS NOT REAL! IF YOU GET SENT ONE OF THESE E-MAILS DELETE IT (READ IT FIRST, IT'S FUNNY) BUT YOU ARE NOT (I REPEATE, NOT!) A MILLIONAIRE!

CLICK ON THE AAL LOGO TO ENTER SITE

ANGLO AMERICAN INTERNATIONAL LOTTERY

Headquarters Anglo American Campus Thames Valley

Park Reading RG6 1WG England

Customer Service: 580 NCA 85914


Ref: EAASL/941OYI/04

Batch: 12/27/Du34



RESULTS FOR CATEGORY "A" DRAW



Congratulations to you as we bring to your notice, the results of the First Category draws of ANGLO AMERICAN INTERNET LOTTERY PROMOTIONAL INTERNATIONAL.


CONGRATULATIONS WINNING NOTIFICATION


Dear Winner,

We happily announce to you the draw of the Anglo American internet promotional international E-Lottery held On the 17^th May 2006 in Essex United Kingdom. Your e-mail address attached to ticket number: B9564 75604545 188 with! Serial number 97560 drew the winning lucky number: 02/15/20/24/32/47/Bonus Ball(29) which subsequently won you the lottery in the first category.

You have therefore been approved to claim a total sum of uk £ 200.000.000.00 (Two million Pounds) in cash credited to file KPC/9080118308/02.This is from a total cash prize of uk £13,000,000,00( Million Pounds , shared among the(13)lucky winners in this category world-wide.

Please note that your lucky winning number falls within our promotional international Lottery representative office in South Africa as indicated in your coupon. In view of this your,uk £ 200.000.000.00 (Two million Pounds)would be released to you by Our paying bank in African ,our agent will immediately commence the process to facilitate the release of your funds as soon as you contact him.

All participants were selected randomly from World Wide Web site through computer draws system and extracted from over 20,000,000,00 companies and individuals email addresses allover the world.

Be informed that the ANGLO AMEICAN INTERNET PROMOTION Chapter is a promotion aimed at internet globalization before the year 2010, thereby empowering internet literacy with its headquarters in London - United Kingdom.


This promotion takes place annually. For security reasons, you are advised to keep your winning information confidential till your claims is processed and your money remitted to your nominated bank account.


This is part of our precautionary measure to avoid double claiming and unwarranted abuse of this program by some unscrupulous elements.


To file for your claim ,contact our corresponding agent in South Africa immediately you read this message via telephone or email address below.

contact information is as follow:


*******************************************************************
Mr.Mike Vuyo.

Accredited Agent Lottery Agent
ADDRESS: Lotteries Headquarters: 31, Brixon Court,
Carlton East Gate,Johannesburg 2191 South Africa.
Hot line: +27 73 119 1086
FAX : +27 11 507 6813
Email: info11claim@yahoo.com
********************************************************************

You are advised to contact the agents fiduciary via Telephone for notification as soon as you send your information.

NOTE: For easy reference and identification, find below your Reference and Batch numbers. Remember to quote these numbers in your correspondence with your claims fiduciary.


REFERENCE NUMBER: LSLUK/2031/8161/04

BATCH NUMBER: 14/011/IPD

Sincerely
Mrs.Mariska Nowak.
Online promotion coordinator

Sir. Steve Ballmer .
Chief Executive Officer, AAL Corporation

Congratulations from the Staffs & Members of the AAL International Lottery Board Commission



Mrs.Mariska Nowak. Dr.Peter W. Alexandra Sir. Steve Ballmer
(UKOnline Co-ordinator Sec.) (Zonal Co-ordinator RSA.) (CEO.AAL.Corporation.)



All rights reserved. Terms of Service - Guideline

100860 8556 2548 9576ZA

In case you're wondering - Steve Ballmer is CEO of Microsoft (and that isn't a picture of him).

It's probably going to be shit...

..But I can't bloody wait to see this film.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/entertainment/4987116.stm

Alex Baldwin?

The look alikes are so good that one even looks like Alex Baldwin (one of the unknown Baldwins or possibly a spelling error?).

http://www.lookalikes-susanscott.co.uk/Menu%20Pages%2003/Hollywood/Hollywood03/alexbaldwinph.htm

Main web site: http://www.lookalikes-susanscott.co.uk/Menu%20lists%2003/hollywood.htm

Did anyone ever tell you you look like Angelina Jolie?

Well, apparently someone told this girl. I think they were probably lying.

http://www.lookalikes-susanscott.co.uk/Menu%20Pages%2003/Hollywood/Hollywood05/AngelinaJolield.htm

(Don't ask how I found this...it wasn't how you might think!)

And I thought I was down wid da kidz!

Only in America could a governor make such a fool of himself and seemingly get away with it. He's even quoted as saying "06 seniors rule."

Rocky on Sonny!

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20060514/ap_on_re_us/governor_s_post_prom

First it was the Tango slap...now we're seeing the streets attacked by fruit!

Join the campaign to stop the fruit flingers. It's an absolute disgrace! These big companies from London think they can just waltz into some small pat of Swansea and cause all this damage! Well...the people of Swansea are fighting back!

http://www.swansea-res.org.uk

Yes, it is a joke.

Cookies are a sometimes food!

Can't believe I missed this article last year. Seems even the cookie monster can't avoid the goodie goodie police. Although I do object to the fact that the cookie monster is quite clearly a biscuit monster, rather than a monster who solely eats the cookie variety of biscuits, I'm pretty peeved that he can no longer eat as much as he likes. What's he going to do now? Scoff down several bananas and a load of oranges...teaching kids that it's ok to have the shits all the time.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/entertainment/tv_and_radio/4432415.stm

I'm thinking of starting a new diet plan. You can eat whatever you like, but you have to eat standing.

Although...balls....it's not a good idea apparently..
http://spirituality.indiatimes.com/articleshow/184616.cms

Shit, it's also against the wishes of our Lord Faithful, Allah:
http://www.islamweb.net/ver2/Fatwa/ShowFatwa.php?lang=E&Id=2156&Option=FatwaId

It's ok though - it's not a sin, it's just "better not to do it".

Jesus!

(Ah, the irony).

A text from Batman himself....

Picture 268, originally uploaded by Gareth Bathers.

Pure genius:

"Just seen catherine's new bird. Phooar! 18 yrs old and fit! Also seen an even fitter norwegian quick fit fitter. I love lezzers."

The 80s are back....

Picture 306, originally uploaded by Gareth Bathers.

Well, they were for a small group of people on night in April.

Pics to be uploaded properly to my site in the coming days....for now check out a few at:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/bathers/

Ah....the summer is nearly here....